Schizophrenic heart

on 5/21/2011
Dazzled, clouded thought, incomprehensive ideas, loss of focus, out of track…
To start with everyone is falling…
Falling out of love
Each of them
Except me:P

The emotion I’m feeling right now is no were to be found in any hypothalamus nor in my pericardium, yet I might say this is what they called ambivalence/s…

Start with this

If a (bi) friend of mine shows a person whom he loves what am I supposed to feel??

Should I feel envy that he found someone great looking and me still being single?
Should I feel jealous, for we’ve been together, close to having a “something” but not to the point of me being a “someone” for him?
Or better thing to say…


Should I feel glad that at least he had moved on from his past (in which I can’t do anything but to be your ever supportive friend) and found someone who will care for him, show love and respect?

And kept this friendship still unbroken...


Writing this down, every letter, word, each sentence, I’ve realized one thing

“Gusto kong maramdamang magmahal at masaktan ng sobra-sobra”

Sounds schizophrenic? For me, guess not

Never been in any serious relationship, wonder how it feels like?
The ups and the downs,

The conflict and the success

The lust and the love…

I wonder how it feels like to be loved and be loved…
XD

_________________________________________

pasensiya sa english naglalaro lng sa 79-81 ang grade ko noon nung hayskul haha, at since moment ko naman pagbigyan :D

anyways itulog lng ito at rebyu na ulit, at ulit at ulit hahaha :)

-pong

11 gumulo:

the green breaker said...

ui, nakarelate ako pong.. dun sa feelings mo kay friend. lalo na at muntik nang may something..

Demonyitong Promdi said...

kapatid na pong!uhhhmm..can I call you kapatid?..eniweys..I would like to share my mantra tuwing dadating ang ganyang emoshyon..

HINDI YAN HINAHANAP, KUSA YANG DUMADATING!!

PAK!

pongpong pagong said...

@green nga eh, mhirap din kc,nagkaroon ng time na di ko alam kung ano ang lugar ko hehe, pero gud frends pa din :D

@promdi bkit naman kapatid?? hehe ok lng basta ikaw kuya :)), tama may right time para dyan :D

Desperate Houseboy said...

hanukaba. ang hirap masaktan kung alam mo lang. bitter ocampo?

Thanks pala sa comment sa entry ko. Malaking bagay yun.

pongpong pagong said...

@houseboy pag nasaktan ibig sabihin nagmahal k ng totoo,walang mali don :) (at least di kaw pinaglihi sa anaesthesia XD)

NP, pagsubok lng yan, push lng ng push :D

tim said...

Whoa, pain is just whole crap. chakit chakit!

pongpong pagong said...

@tim maloko lng po talga isip ko hehe, ewan ko ba.. pero kakayanin din yang pain na yan hehehe :)

Elai :)) said...

You know where to go pag naexperience mo na yan. :)

pongpong pagong said...

eh may choice pa ba ako...?? puno ka ng trust ko eh heheh :D, labs you kabet XD

ka bute said...

hindi kaya hallucination lang yan? hehe.

pongpong pagong said...

@ka bute. di pa naman medyo intact pa ang reality ko heheh XD

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